A Cursed Gift

It happened to both of my grandmothers before they passed

My grandfathers I don’t recall since I was just a boy at the time

But from what little I can gather I believe it was the same story

I used to say this line of: if only we could be strangers again

There were many reasons why I could wish such things upon myself

I blame the naivety that I was going through at the time

But then I was finally able to meet you after decades of waiting

And you reminded me of the wonderful gift that I have

You reminded me of so many things which was incredible

Such as that one friend I made in 1st grade and in 8th

Or how I was too shy to dance and didn’t even go to prom

There was that time I learned to ride a bike at 24 years old

I couldn’t believe I took my 31st year off hiking every mountain

And of course I even recall my very first moments at home

But you also reminded me of something grim I once wanted

It’s not your fault at all just something I chose to ignore till now

I wanted to be strangers again but it was never with you

Rather it was to the rest of the world I wanted to start over with

They say that the greatest gift anyone can have is their memories

For if lost one day then we won’t even know who we are anymore

I was young and wanted to erase every memory I ever had

What I failed to realize back then was that my gift was cursed

And that one day that ill-fated wish would most certainly be true

I can recall names of random people from the past even as a child

There might be a certain clothing or catchphrase I can pinpoint

Numbers, dates, and the such was perhaps my only weakness

But events and moments shared were locked away safely in mind

I once thought I was invincible in that respect versus life

Yet as I see both my parents showing increasing signs of loss

I am reminded that they are following their parents’ footsteps

And more than likely one day my best gift will leave me as well

My younger self probably wouldn’t have cared as much

However now that I met you, it’s reminded me of what beauty it is

The pain it will be to slowly start to forget all the things we shared

Watching you as you start to take your first steps by yourself

Me holding your hand as I take you to your first day of school

You making new friends in high school and having a crush

Going off to college and going on to fall in love with someone

All that and more I will be able to see with you as you grow

I only wish I knew how long I would be able to hold on to those

Which is why I have begun to make the most of the time I have

And begun writing everything I have learned in my own life

To pass on to you for when you get older and need guidance

No matter what there will be times where I’m not around

But at least a part of me will carry on with you going forward

All my memories, experiences, and wisdom will be yours

When the time is right you will receive this bound leather

I pray it is before I could ever forget your eyes and smile

In the meantime I will continue to cherish you as you grow up

And who knows, should that tragic day ever turn up on my door

You might be able to bring me back, so that we’re strangers no more. . .


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