Fall, Crickets & Marriage

Today was the first day I finally got to wear a hoodie jacket. It was cold, cloudy and rainy, and I loved every moment of it. Fall is finally here, which means holiday season and a whole bunch of other things. It’s nice to not think about humidity and mosquitoes, or sitting in hot cars. This time of year will always be my favorite time, because you can still do some summer things like go to the beach and be outdoors. Sure it’s a bit cooler but, when it’s so hot here normally, it’s like heaven when you reach those sweet temperatures in the 60 degrees (15-20 degrees Celsius for my global friends). So even though today was in the 40’s, it will go up a bit in the coming days. Still, a perfect way to kick off a time of change approaching. No word yet on the job, and work here has been more busy than usual. One of my coworkers likes doing food challenges with me, usually he does peppers and sauces, but today he brought out something I wasn’t expecting: a box of crickets. 

The things people can buy on Amazon. Apparently you can buy insects that are flavored to eat, and he had bacon cheese-flavored crickets. I know in other countries, people eat different animals from horses to snakes to rats and other things. People reading thisImage result for box of crickets might make a gross face, but remember every area is different as well as culture. Some people eat only plants, other avoid certain meats, etc. and we usually don’t judge much on that. So when he pulled out that box of crickets, I thought of all that and how others eat; insects apparently are filled with lots of protein. I told him I’ll try it if our boss does too. I think my boss said yes just to make me do it. I did, and it actually had no flavor. Quite airy too, like eating a Funyun of some sort. I guess it was the way the manufacturer makes them. But the moral here is don’t hesitate to eat new things!

The title of this post includes marriage, and that pertains to going to the grocery store during the weekend. I went with my mother to the store, and when we were in line to pay, she saw a worker there that she talks to from time to time. So she went over to chat, while I stayed in line. When we walked to the car, and unloaded the groceries, she told me more about that worker. She’s slightly younger than my mother and has kids of her own that they talk about. This was the first time she saw me, and apparently told my mother to tell me to never get married. That line sticks with me, because frankly I hate that line. Now I’m not in the “everyone must marry” camp nor the “everyone never commit” camp. I’m definitely in-between, but I guess what frustrates me is this trend and what it could mean for society 20-40 years from now.

My long-time readers may recall an old post (I think it’s about if love is overrated) where I mention how if someone talks badly of love or committed relationships, it’s more of a reflection on them, and the choices they made, rather than the construct itself. For example, say you knew someone who married someone else who is maybe 25 years older than them. Maybe they liked being with someone older or maybe they were financially secure, and decided that’s what they want. Now you hear that they aren’t enjoying the relationship with that person. Could be because they don’t do many things together due interests at certain stages of life or maybe they thought they would have more say in what they can buy. Add whatever arguments occur, and now they complain about marriage/relationships saying it’s overrated. Is marriage/relationship the issue or the person that got into it? That’s just one example, as I’m sure you can think of many others going on around you.

Now not everyone is cut out for relationships. Some may struggle committing many years to one person, or maybe their ability to interact with others is subpar and they don’t work on it. Or maybe they’re simply more happy living on their own. Flip it over, and some are not cut out for singlehood. The idea of bouncing around from person to person turns them off. Living alone is boring and they want a partner to go on adventures with. Whatever the case may be for both sides, truth is, we must go through each. We must embrace being alone and finding who we are. On the other hand, we also must be able to accept others into our lives and be able to form attachments. Coexist. However, it feels more and more that nowadays people quit too easily in relationships. They don’t want to talk it out, or they run to others to solve it for them. We’re so used to texting and emojis now. I’m not blaming technology solely, but honestly it has affected relationships in general. However, that is one of the posts I’m working on (almost done I promise!) so I’ll leave that for later.

But imagine a society, not too far from now, where marriage is rare. A time when people joke about those engaged, rather than the ones who are eligible bachelors/bachelorettes. Where people openly date multiple others, and can end month/year long relationships on a whim to be with someone else. It may sound silly, I know, but look at the norms of past and present. Way back when, most people stayed until the very end with someone; even if it wasn’t great. Today, people push back relationships to focus on careers and other things, and get divorces over anything; some divorce multiple times. So what’s to say one day, society just does away with marriage for the sake of removing hassles and protecting our selves. Where committed relationships are more of a “business arrangement” of company and goods exchanged until a new partner shows up offering something unique or better. Who knows what the future has in store, and maybe I’m spitting out nonsense, but that phrase “never get married” needs to go away. Because it’s not the concept, it’s the person that wasn’t working out.

Also I never listen to someone who tells me to never do something; both because I’m stubborn and it’s my life. If I’m willing to try crickets today, why wouldn’t I try out a committed relationship? I hope that makes sense, because in my head that sounded funny yet makes a point. That is if I can try something I’ve never done before, why wouldn’t I do the same with someone I care about for what I hope is the rest of my life just because it didn’t work out for you? And if in the future marriage doesn’t work out for me, well at least I’ll know and try to grow from that experience; rather than ruin it for others. Share positive wisdom, not negative regrets. Whether singlehood, dating/relationships/marriage, it all starts and ends with communication. Anyway, autumn has arrived and change certainly is coming. Aside from the cricket, things have been good and I’m excited for what’s on the horizon both in the present and future. . .

Image result for fall weather


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