Waiting to be Unstuck

Fun fact: there are 24 drafts on here that I have not finished writing. 24 interesting topics and things that you may or may not see. I have not made much progress on my books either. Pretty sure I have writer’s block; again. The ideas are there but I can’t find the words. Isn’t that annoying? When the words are there, but you can’t seem to say it and so you’re just there in silence waiting for someone (or something) else to do something. Not much has changed since my last update on life. I believe this is week 2 of the passport waiting game, and all I’ve been up to was looking at flight tickets for random days since I don’t even know when I will fly.

The job search is slow as week by week a rejection email comes my way. I keep hoping an out-of-state job throws me a bone and at least requests a Skype interview. I’m taking an unconventional approach to using my Master’s, but if successful I will be very much happy. It’s what you make of the degree and, for this field that I studied in, I’m thinking ahead of the curve while every one else scrambles for their own private practice; not thinking through the ramifications of doing such a thing.

Yet if I must admit, this stagnation is driving me insane. Whereas it feels like everyone else is getting hired, moving to a new country, and other things, I feel as if I’m trailing behind. I know I mentioned I can feel change is coming, and I still do, but it feels further and further away. I’m not at that point where I start to settle for any job, because my  stubbornness won’t let me, but I do think about it. Yet as I browse, I can’t help but think of how much I can’t be behind a desk all day. I want to work with my hands and interact with people. And the wait will be worth it. . . the wait will be worth it.

I truly hate using this excuse but I am still young, and with no child to worry about so I have time to get a decent job that pays well. Right now I just wish for a job with more hours so I can earn more to travel. At times the word “visa” pops into my head; thoughts of working abroad. I want to, I would really like to try but I don’t think I have enough experience to interest them. If I’m being honest, for quite awhile I sort of just been “going through the motions” and I dislike that. What keeps me going is hope that not only change is coming but new faces as well. They say if you don’t like the situation you’re in, then do something about it. Besides applying to jobs, and being with friends, the only other thing I can think of is just packing a bag and forcing travel upon myself. Because right now, I don’t see any jobs calling back anytime soon.

Right now I am stuck, safe to say, in all facets of life and I am trying to power through it. Eventually I will, as we all do, but if only we could see what lies ahead. Like the movie Click I just want to fast-forward this chapter of my life, but every little moment is a moment nonetheless. And it’s times like these that make us reflect on ourselves and come out better, hopefully. If any of you out there feels trapped or stuck in your situation, hang in there/stay strong/se fuerte/sii forte/halte durch/(insert your own language). Rome wasn’t built in a day, so too change doesn’t happen overnight. Just have to stay positive, and wait for that gentle wind to arrive. . .


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