Loss & (wander)Lust

I wanted to type this up last night, but was so tired and wanted to relax. Sometimes you just need those nights, you know? But anyways last night as I sat in class of week 2, I was semi-attentive. Here I am in my second-to-last semester, and I guess “senioritis” has come to stay permanently. Not that I’ll slack off on my assignments, but my mind is off on it’s next venture. Namely the app that I am working on, as well as thinking of what is going to happen to the friends I made in the program.

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We don’t fully know what life has in store, but enjoy the good times you have in it.

We all lose touch with friends. Some are ugly goodbyes, others fade before you know it; or maybe you knew but let things happen. Everyone goes through it yet the ones that stay, the ones that truly make an effort, are the ones to be glad to have in your life. Life can make it hard sometimes though to maintain friendships. It’s not like on television shows like Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother, Friends, and other similar shows where it’s like everyday we’re with our badass group of friends at our usual spot or on some sort of adventure. There’s work, school, personal projects, family, relationships, etc. that are also to be considered. Though we try to make time, sometimes as we get older, it gets more difficult. That and people change over time, like those people from high school . . . you know which ones.

So last night as I laid in bed, I kept thinking about that and how it’s going to change after August when several of my friends, one in particular, will be going off on their own. As she told me before, we’ll all certainly do our best to stay in touch. Yet I’ll always treasure the best moments had with them the last two years, and they have no idea how much they helped me in my growth as a person. See in undergrad I didn’t make any friends that were kept. Not one. I have acquaintances, aka Facebook friends, from undergrad and once in a blue moon I may run into someone from college, but not someone who has stayed after graduation. It didn’t help that I drove to school and, whatever free time I had, I was working to help pay for school. Yet even those things contributed to my work ethic, when I might’ve been getting into trouble back then; not that I was a troublemaker, but college life can have it’s moments.

My best friends are still the ones from high school, but one’s in Cali while the others are talking about moving perhaps in a year or two. Even I’m thinking of moving, but that’s another topic for another day perhaps! Back to what I was saying though, the friends made in graduate school will always be special to me, for they reminded me of who I am. There was a period of time in these two years that really took a toll on me mentally, and I was doubting myself immensely. At the time I thought nothing of it, but looking back there were moments where friends would understand and say little uplifting things that in hindsight really helped me. Like the saying goes, “if you want to go fast, go alone. if you want to go far, go together”. There will be times where we have to do things on our own; some for longer than others. But if we have that support from loved ones, even if it’s just one person, that will be there when needed then we are capable of going so much farther than we would’ve completely alone.

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Come December, it will be my time to move on to the next chapter of my life. Who knows what I will accomplish between now and December, but for 2018 and beyond what I hope to do is fulfill the lust… wanderlust that is. My friends reminded me that the climb to the top of our mountains doesn’t have to be made alone. I hope that some will join me in exploring the world, but priorities is something that all relationships face. Once I knock out this next part of the app process, I too will face priorities: building my team. I really look forward to that honestly, and it ties into what I said earlier about going far with others. Yet this app will help myself and others accomplish that lust. In one of my classes, we were asked to write our top life goals. Many had travel, but not in the top 3-5; mine was #1. Yes, everyone certainly tries their best to stay in touch, but remember who you are and what is important to you. For myself, it’s not just about the career after this degree or this app I am striving to get made, but it’s also my conviction as to who I am. I am an old soul who dreams to see the world (cliche I’m sure). Not everyone is able to follow the dirt roads you walk on, and that’s okay. People will come and go, but as long as bridges aren’t burned it doesn’t mean down the road you can’t catch up. The key word here is effort and if the timing is right. In the meantime, enjoy the moments had with the people you love being around; even if you know it might not last for a long time. Like people, life passes you by non-stop and there are literally millions of other people you can meet and moments you can create with them.

 


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